Major Assignment #3, Draft 2

Infographic:

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Alyssas-Thoughts-Eng101-410x1024.jpg

Informative Presentation:

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/193FgKpvmm1CE8DXSZHogJwgYS0r6ODj6bXj2MXr6yOY/edit?usp=sharing

Short Story:

Bedtime is Cancelled

By: Alyssa Sherman

An informative children’s story about how excessive video gaming can cause insomnia and how it can affect your life. 

Trent plays in a baseball league in his city and he is the co-captain. He loves baseball and hates to lose. The city championships are soon and Trent really wants to win because he got second place last year.  

For Trent’s birthday his mom bought him a brand new iPad. Since getting his iPad he would play games all day and also play without his mom knowing all night and not fall asleep until 3am. He played all night to the point bedtime was cancelled. He didn’t have bedtime anymore and went to bed whenever he wanted to. 

One night, two days before the baseball championship, his mom came into his room and found him on his iPad and took it away. She told him that too much iPad will cause you to be tired the next day. Trent was mad that he didn’t have his iPad and tried to fall asleep but he couldn’t. He stayed up until 2am. He tried counting sheep and even doing some jumping jacks to tire himself out. He would go to bed at 2 am but wake up at 7am to get ready for baseball practice at 8am. 

With only five hours of sleep, he was too tired to run as fast as he could and hit the ball as hard as he could. He didn’t know why he was so tired all the time. It was the night before the city championship and Trent was so excited. He was so excited he decided to get his iPad and look at baseball videos and practice in the backyard. At night, he snuck his iPad in his room to watch more videos. He tried to fall asleep early but because he was on his iPad all day his brain was wide awake and he couldn’t sleep. He tried counting sheep and doing some jumping jacks but nothing seemed to work. 

Eventually he fell asleep but four hours later his mom came into his bedroom to wake him up to shower and get ready for the state championship game. Trent was so tired and didn’t want to get out of bed. Once he was ready his mom brought him to his baseball game. He didn’t run as fast as he could or hit the ball as hard as he could because he was so tired. The game was all tied up and Trent was on third base. If he ran as fast as he could to homebase, he would be the final point to win the championship game. When his teammate hit the ball he started running as fast as he could but got tired very fast and slowed down half way there. Because the other team was well rested and ready to play baseball they ran faster than Trent and tagged him out. 

If Trent didn’t play on his iPad all night all summer long he would’ve been able to fall asleep the night before his big game and win the city championship game.

1 Comment

  1. Hi Alyssa:
    Infographic:
    Do you think you create a hyperlink to Canva? I can read what you have here but in your final version it might help to have the link and higher resolution. From what I can see, you have a good, clear message. And you’ve provided clear, relevant data. Perhaps you might trim some of the lengthy text down? I do notice some of the text bleeding into the cloud graphic. And of course you will need to cite your sources in each sentence in which you borrow.

    PowerPoint:
    You’ve done good work here. The slides have a clear message and logical organization. You provide appropriate and helpful data. I see that you cite sources (in APA rather than MLA format, by the way). Please list all sources cite–in MLA format.
    Btw: I was pleased to see you had done your own research. Please indicate the number (n=) who participated.

    Short story:
    I appreciate the creative genre here. And I like the basic outline of the problem. But a short story should have far more descriptive detail–physical and psychological. I’d also like to see more of a rising action or plot line–some building to a climax. Dialogue might also enliven this story. For a model, you might look at a story by Hemingway (“Hills like White Elephants”) or Orwell (“Shooting an Elephant”).

    I see no Rationale, Reflection, Works Cited or post write

    This draft is incomplete.

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